Virtual Camp Surely Taking the Piss

The idea of a virtual camp has Everyday P-12 School parents up in arms. The camp is the brainchild of Information, Computers and Technology teacher, Mr Bailey Lawson.

Mr Lawson was tasked with organising the camp after assistant principal, Ms Ruth Horan, became concerned with the amount of time he was spending in the computer lab. ‘Bailey needs to get some sunlight,’ said Ms Horan. ‘Half the students wouldn’t know who he was if they spotted him outside.’

Instead of students cooking their own meals over a camp fire, I’ll teach them how to order via UberEats.

Bailey Lawson Information, Computers and Technology Teacher

Mr Lawson then came up with his novel idea. ‘A virtual camp will be a real winner,’ he said. ‘Each student will stay at their own home and login to a private chatroom. This will be where the camp takes place.’ Mr Lawson went on to detail his camp plans. ‘Rather than hiking each student will attempt to catch Pokémon around their house. Instead of students cooking their own meals over a camp fire, I’ll teach them how to order via UberEats. And there’ll be no posting letters home, the students can email their parents to let them know how much fun they’re having.’ But won’t the parents be in the same house as the kids? ‘Yes, but the letters kids write on camp just end up in the bin anyway. This is good for the environment.’

Mr Lawson was quick to outline other ‘benefits’ of the camp. ‘It will be extremely cheap; we don’t need to book a bus or accommodation. We don’t have to worry about students sneaking into each other’s rooms and I can host the entire camp from the school’s computer room.’

Parents of students involved in the camp are less than impressed. ‘Surely they’re taking the piss. It’s a joke, right?’ said a bemused father. ‘School camp is all about getting rid of the kids for a few days … and you know, the kids having fun with their peers outside of school and experiencing new things.’ Another parent stated, ‘The kids spend more than enough time on their devices. Camp is a chance to get outside … and away from me, for a few days.’

Camp is a chance to get outside … and away from me, for a few days.

Parent

To no one’s surprise, Ms Horan was less than complimentary about the idea. ‘Not happening,’ she grumped. ‘I’ve booked the group into an adventure camp. It’s been extended to five days and they will be so remote that there is no internet access.’

 

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