Teacher Loses Money Despite Winning Melbourne Cup Sweep

Year 2 teacher, Ms Makayla Matthews, has won the teachers’ Melbourne Cup sweep at Everyday School … and lost money. Ms Matthews purchased four entries for $2 each and was elated when Vow and Declare, one of her randomly selected horses, saluted.

After escaping her classroom and the swarm of students claiming their horse came last and they’d won a Mars Bar, Ms Matthews skipped to the staffroom. Upon opening the box that should have held her winnings she instead found a collection of 5 and 10 cent coins totalling $2.65, 2 yellow counters and a stick of chewing gum.

The sweep was based on a trust system. That was the first mistake.

Makayla Matthews Year 2 Teacher

To say Ms Matthews was disappointed with the result is like saying Winx was a half-decent racehorse. ‘The sweep was based on a trust system. That was the first mistake,’ she said, holding up the box into which staff should have placed $2 before randomly selecting a horse. ‘Obviously hardly anyone has put their two dollars in.’

Ms Matthews was further gob-smacked to find her own $8 contribution had been taken. ‘I should’ve at least got my own money back,’ she said, ‘but Dot’s horse (Everyday School business manager) came in second. She would’ve snatched her prizemoney as soon as the first whisker on her horse’s nose passed the finishing post.’

She would’ve snatched her prizemoney as soon as the first whisker on her horse’s nose passed the finishing post.

Makayla Matthews Year 2 Teacher

Sweep organiser, and serial non-payer, Ms Belinda Daniels claims people will still pay their two dollars. ‘I’m sure most people, like me, just didn’t have a two dollar coin on them. Now their horses have lost they’ll find Makayla and pay her what she’s owed.’ Ms Matthews was less than confident in that eventuating. ‘Heck, no,’ she responded when asked if she believed the money owed to her would be forthcoming.

Serial-protester, Ms Ava Hollywood, was less than sympathetic. ‘No one should make money out of the barbaric practice that is horse racing,’ she said, before adjusting her floral fascinator that she intended to wear to the Fashions on the Field later in the day that carried a $50 first prize. When realising the contradiction she snapped, ‘It’s okay to dress up for the races. It’s just the actual racing bit I’m against.’

1 comment

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    I vow and declare this news item to be pretty close to the truth. Teachers can be a miserly lot when they put their minds to it. At my school we had an honesty box system connected to paying for chocolates, drinks and other snacks from the staff fridge. It eventually got closed down because every month there was a massive shortfall of put-in money compared to the ‘stock’ consumed.

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