Principal Refuses Teacher Proposal to Use Emojis in Reports

Emojis will not replace words in the reports of Everyday P-12 School students after a proposal from several staff members was knocked back by principal, Mr James Matthews.

If we sent home a report that said “behaviour” and it had the poo emoji next to it, our message would be understood in a fraction of a second.

Stu Richards Physical Education Teacher

The leader of the proposal, PE teacher Mr Stu Richards, claimed ‘Using emojis would drastically reduce the hours it takes to write reports. And they’d be easier for parents and students to understand.’ He went on to explain, ‘At the moment we send home a line with a dot on it that no one understands. It’s accompanied by a paragraph of big words that no one reads. If we sent home a report that said “behaviour” and it had the poo emoji next to it, our message would be understood in a fraction of a second.’

Graduate teacher, Mr Sam Hargreaves, was in support of the concept. ‘Brilliant idea!’ he said. ‘We could go poor = poo emoji, below average = thumbs down, average = bullseye, above average = thumbs up and excellent … well, we could use the raised hands but I don’t think any of our students will achieve an excellent rating.’

In a surprising turn of events Ms Marjorie Hall, who’s been teaching since dinosaurs roamed the Earth, was in favour of the change. ‘What a splendid idea,’ she said. ‘I teach cooking to some of the senior classes and I could include the emojis of the ingredients in my reports. Last week we made eggplant lasagne. Imagine the students’ and parents’ surprise when I send home an eggplant emoji on the kids’ reports. We had peach cobbler for dessert so I could use the peach too.’

Imagine the students’ and parents’ surprise when I send home an eggplant emoji on the kids’ reports.

Marjorie Hall Prep/Foundation Teacher

Ms Hall’s knowledge of technology and emojis was questioned by vice-principal Ms Ruth Horan. ‘Not only does Marjorie not own a mobile phone, nor has she ever sent a text message, last week some senior students fooled her into attempting to make a phone call on a calculator.’

While conceding the reports would be quicker to understand and read by a larger percentage of parents, Mr Matthews ruled against the change. ‘An interstate school ran a trial and a teacher sent home the fist emoji on a report, meaning “you’re killing it; doing exceptionally well”. However the student interpreted it as the teacher wanted to punch him. It lead to all sorts of trouble.’

1 comment

  • Glen Donaldson
    / Reply

    On the up side at least the poo emoji is smiling!

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