No Human Answers a Work Phone Quicker than a Teacher Whose Job is Advertised

Almost every recess, lunch and before and after school, dedicated teacher Ms Jacqui Kenny can been found in her classroom.

However, during the past week the enthusiastic teacher has been regularly spotted loitering in the corridor outside the office. Other Everyday P-12 School staff have witnessed this behaviour before from other teachers and know exactly the game Ms Kenny is playing.

‘She’s protecting her turf,’ said Year 6 teacher, Mr Adrian Fisher. ‘Jacqui’s on a one-year contract and her job’s been advertised online. University students ring schools with advertised jobs to show their interest. Jacqui wants to answer their calls so she can tell them there’s someone in the job and put them off applying.’

Every time the phone rings Jacqui races into the room like a 70 year old trying to answer a phone call from the Cash Cow before it rings three times.

Dorothy Reid Business Manager

Business Manager, Mrs Dorothy Reid, who guards her territory with a fierceness rarely seen in the wilds of Africa let alone a school office, is less than impressed with Ms Kenny’s behaviour. ‘Every time the phone rings Jacqui races into the room like a 70 year old trying to answer a phone call from the Cash Cow before it rings three times.’ Mrs Reid began to re-enact one of Ms Kenny’s dashes however her recently replaced hip and low blood sugar dissuaded her from doing so.

Ms Kenny claims to have other reasons for regularly being in the vicinity of the office. ‘I’m trying to help Dorothy out. She doesn’t have time to mark the rolls, write the newsletter, check her lotto numbers and answer the phone.’

Upon being informed that others have overheard her telling potential applicants that ‘an outstanding teacher is already in the job’ and ‘it’s pretty much a done deal that the current teacher will get the gig’ Ms Kenny shrugged her shoulders, ‘They’re not lies.’

 

Rumours that Ms Kenny has offered to pay the work experience student $10 per applicant call they can answer and put off are so far unconfirmed. What can be confirmed is that PE teacher, Mr Stu Richards, has been sitting in the staff room, calling the school on his mobile, watching Ms Kenny race into the office and hanging up as she reaches the phone. ‘It’s hilarious,’ said Mr Richards. ‘I reckon just this lunch Jacqui’s covered 500 metres at top speed.’

I reckon just this lunch Jacqui’s covered 500 metres at top speed.

Stu Richards Physical Education Teacher

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