Negotiations over Staff Sleeping Arrangements on Camp Resemble Tribal Council

As final preparations are completed for the Everyday P-12 School camp for junior students, the issue receiving the most attention is yet to be resolved: which two teachers will share a room with serial-snorer, Mr Adrian Fisher.

Year 1 teacher, and staff member in charge of the camp, Ms Julie Finlayson has worked tirelessly planning the meals, activities, staffing and transport only to have her work overshadowed by staff arguments over sleeping arrangements.

As a last resort I’ve informed staff I’ll be putting all their names in a hat. Whoever I draw out will be sharing with Adrian. That person can also pick the third and final occupant of the room.

Julie Finlayson Year 1 Teacher

‘It’s out of control,’ said Ms Finlayson. ‘Everyone I’ve asked to share a room with Adrian has flat-out refused. As a last resort I’ve informed staff I’ll be putting all their names in a hat. Whoever I draw out will be sharing with Adrian. That person can also pick the third and final occupant of the room.’

According to Ms Finlayson, rather than solving the issue, the proposed solution has inflamed it. ‘Ever since the staffroom has resembled the lead-up to a tribal council on Survivor. Bianca Daniels (Year 5 teacher) and Jacqui Kenny (Year 4 teacher) have formed an alliance and promised not to select each other if they are drawn from the hat. Stu Richards (PE) and Sam Hargreaves (Year 3) have also formed an alliance but Stu is going behind Sam’s back by trying to also join Bianca and Jacqui’s alliance.

Meanwhile, Makayla Matthews (Year 2) has a doctor’s certificate saying a disrupted sleep will adversely affect her health. She claims there’s no name on the certificate and Jacqui can use it if she’s selected, as long as she doesn’t select Makayla as the third occupant.

However, Stu has heard rumours about the nameless medical certificate and is searching the school as if it’s an immunity idol. ‘I’ve got plenty of back-up plans,’ confessed Mr Richards. ‘My last option is to sleep under the stars. It’ll be like being on Castaway Island but anything is better than sharing a room with Adrian. And on that, why isn’t Julie offering to share with him? I bet her name isn’t in the hat.’

Stu has heard rumours about the nameless medical certificate and is searching the school as if it’s an immunity idol.

Stu Richards Physical Education Teacher

Ms Finlayson was quick to respond when confronted with this accusation. ‘Have you ever seen an episode of Survivor? Well, I’m Jeff Probst and this camp is my show. The tribe has spoken!’

Leave a comment