Information and Technology technician, Steven Day, has been forced into asking the question every IT tech dreads posing to a teacher, ‘Have you been watching adult material on your school-issued laptop?’
The awkward question was directed to Year 6 teacher, Mr Adrian Fisher, upon the renowned grump complaining to Mr Day that, ‘Pop-ups of people in varying stages of undress have been appearing regularly on my screen.’
Did you, ahh … has anyone … umm, have you been looking up porn on your computer?
Aware of the need to get to the bottom of the issue in order to fix the laptop, red-faced Day muttered, ‘Did you, ahh … has anyone … umm, have you been looking up porn on your computer?’ Reports from amused onlookers claim Mr Fisher strenuously denied accessing adult material. ‘I did nothing of the sort. I wasn’t aware that such content even existed on the internet.’
Once made aware of a developing laptop-related situation in the staffroom, PE teacher, Mr Stu Richards rushed in. ‘It was my little brother watching it, I swear,’ he called. Upon being informed the laptop was not his but the property of Mr Fisher, the PE teacher’s mood quickly lightened. ‘Whoa that’s Stormy Rogers. You can tell by the birthmark on her left shoulder,’ he said, glancing at the screen. Richards quickly corrected himself, ‘What I meant to say is that woman, who I’ve never seen before, should get dressed and leave that man to clean the pool.’
Day was forced to ask another difficult question to clarify how the virus found its way into Fisher’s computer. ‘You said you were downloading new fonts when the virus first appeared?’ ‘Downloading fonts!’ called Mr Richards. ‘What font was it … Times Nude Roman? Bradley Hand (job)?’ Graduate teacher, Mr Sam Hargreaves, also found the situation highly amusing. ‘Was it Vic Modern Curvy?’
Downloading fonts!’ called Mr Richards. ‘What font was it … Times Nude Roman? Bradley Hand (job)?
However, Fisher struck back with a retort of his own about Mr Richard’s. ‘Stu, your laptop has more viruses than a goldfish living in a septic treatment pond.’ Mr Fisher’s rebuttal was somewhat short-lived as a pop-up advertising adult novelty toys flashed onto the screen of his laptop. Fisher stormed from the staffroom as Day furiously attempted to delete the virus. ‘There’s a bookmark on here for a dating site for over sixties that I suspect is part of the virus,’ called Day. ‘Yeah, ahh … leave that one on there,’ replied Fisher.